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The Reptile Room Lemony Snicket This story has a happy ending. No, wait, the was a different tape… too ~ Customer, If you have actually picked increase this sheet, you have probably not check out the warning so clearly outlined in my prior message. This story might seem cheery in ~ first, as soon as the Baudelaire orphans invest time in the agency of some amazing reptiles and also a giddy uncle. But don"t it is in fooled. The three siblings endure a auto accident, a disastrous odour, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a big brass reading lamp and also the reappearance that a human they"d hoped never ever to watch again. I have made a solemn vow to current this information to the public, yet there is nothing avoiding you from tearing increase this paper and pretending you"ve never ever heard of this CD. Then you can sell something that is less unpleasant. With all early out respect, Lemony Snicket Lemony Snicket The Reptile Room The 2nd book in the A collection of Unfortunate events series, 1999 because that Beatrice- my love for you candlestick live forever. You, however, did not. Thing One The stretch of roadway that leads out of the city, past Hazy Harbor and also into the town of Tedia, is probably the most unpleasant in the world. The is referred to as Lousy Lane. Lousy roadway runs through fields that room a sickly gray color, in i beg your pardon a handful of scraggly trees produce apples so sour that one only needs to look at them to feeling ill. Lousy roadway traverses the Grim River, a human body of water the is nine-tenths mud and that includes extremely unnerving fish, and it encircles a horseradish factory, for this reason the whole area smells bitter and also strong. I am sorry to phone call you that this story starts with the Baudelaire orphans traveling follow me this many displeasing road, and that indigenous this minute on, the story just gets worse. Of all the people in the human being who have miserable lives – and, as I"m certain you know, over there are rather a few – the Baudelaire youngsters take it the cake, a phrase which here means that more horrible things have actually happened come them 보다 just about anybody. Your misfortune began with an huge fire that damaged their home and killed both your loving parents, which is sufficient sadness to critical anyone a lifetime, but in the instance of this three kids it was just the negative beginning. After the fire, the brothers were sent to live with a distant relative named Count Olaf, a terrible and also greedy man. The Baudelaire parents had left behind an enormous fortune, which would go to the kids when Violet come of age, and Count Olaf to be so i heard with acquiring his filthy hand on the money the he flower a devious plan that provides me nightmares to this day. He was captured just in time, yet he escaped and also vowed to obtain ahold of the Baudelaire fortune at some time in the future. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny still had nightmares around Count Olaf"s shiny, glowing eyes, and around his one scraggly eyebrow, and most the all around the tattoo of one eye he had actually on his ankle. It seemed like that eye was watching the Baudelaire orphans wherever they went. For this reason I should tell you the if you have opened this publication in the hope of finding the end that the children lived happily ever after, you might too shut it and read something else. Since Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, sit in a small, cramped car and also staring out the home windows at Lousy Lane, to be heading towards even much more misery and woe. The Grim River and also the horseradish manufacturing facility were just the very first of a succession of tragic and unpleasant episodes that bring a frown to my face and a tear to mine eye whenever i think around them. The driver the the automobile was Mr. Poe, a family friend who worked at a bank and always had a cough. He was in charge of overseeing the orphans" affairs, therefore it was he who chose that the kids would be put in the treatment of a far-off relative in the nation after every the unpleasantness through Count Olaf. "I"m i m really sorry if you"re uncomfortable," Mr. Poe said, coughing right into a white handkerchief, "but this brand-new car that mine doesn"t to the right too countless people. Us couldn"t even fit any type of of her suitcases. In a mainly or therefore I"ll drive back here and also bring them to you." "Thank you," said Violet, who at fourteen to be the oldest of the Baudelaire children. Anyone who knew Violet well can see the her psychic was not really ~ above what Mr. Poe to be saying, due to the fact that her lengthy hair to be tied increase in a ribbon to store it out of she eyes. Violet was an inventor, and also when she was reasoning up creations she favored to tie her hair up this way. It assisted her think clearly about the assorted gears, wires, and ropes affiliated in most of she creations. "After living so lengthy in the city," Mr. Poe continued, "I think friend will find the countryside to be a pleasant change. Oh, below is the turn. We"re nearly there." "Good," Klaus claimed quietly. Klaus, favor many human being on auto rides, was really bored, and he was sad no to have actually a book with him. Klaus love to read, and at roughly twelve years of period had read much more books 보다 many world read in their entirety lives. Sometimes he review well right into the night, and also in the morning could be found fast asleep, through a book in his hand and his glasses quiet on. "I think you"ll prefer Dr. Montgomery, too," Mr. Poe said. "He has traveled a good deal, so he has plenty of stories to tell. I"ve heard his house is to fill with things he"s lugged from every the places he"s been." "Bax!" sunny shrieked. Sunny, the youngest of the Baudelaire orphans, frequently talked favor this, as babies tend come do. In fact, as well as biting points with her four very sharp teeth, speak in fragments was just how Sunny spent many of her time. It was often daunting to tell what she intended to say. In ~ this moment she more than likely meant something along the lines of "I"m nervous about meeting a brand-new relative." all three kids were. "How exactly is Dr. Montgomery concerned us?" Klaus asked. "Dr. Montgomery is-let me see-your late father"s cousin"s wife"s brother. Ns think that"s right. He"s a scientist of some sort, and also receives a great deal of money indigenous the government." together a banker, Mr. Poe was always interested in money. "What should we speak to him?" Klaus asked. "You should contact him Dr. Montgomery," Mr. Poe replied, "unless he speak you to speak to him Montgomery. Both his very first and last names space Montgomery, so the doesn"t yes, really make lot difference." "His surname is Montgomery Montgomery?" Klaus said, smiling. "Yes, and I"m certain he"s really sensitive about that, so don"t ridicule him," Mr. Poe said, sneeze again right into his handkerchief. ""Ridicule" means "tease."" Klaus sighed. "I understand what "ridicule" means," he said. That did not add that of food he likewise knew not to make funny of someone"s name. Occasionally, human being thought that due to the fact that the orphans to be unforunate, castle were additionally dim-witted. Violet sighed too, and took the ribbon the end of her hair. She had actually been trying come think increase an development that would certainly block the smell of horseradish from getting to one"s nose, yet she was as well nervous about meeting Dr. Montgomery to focus on it. "Do you recognize what type of scientist the is?" she asked. She was thinking Dr. Montgomery could have a activities that would certainly be of use to her. "I"m afraid not," Mr. Poe admitted. "I"ve been an extremely busy make the arrangements for you three, and also I didn"t have actually much time because that chitchat. Oh, here"s the driveway. We"ve arrived." Mr. Poe traction the automobile up a steep gravel driveway and also toward one enormous rock house. The house had a square front door do of dark wood, with numerous columns marking the former porch. To every side the the door were lights in the forms of torches, which were brightly lit even though it to be morning. Above the former door, the house had rows and rows that square windows, most of i m sorry were open up to allow in the breeze. But in prior of the home was what to be truly unusual: a vast, well-kept lawn, dotted v long, thin shrubs in impressive shapes. As Mr. Poe"s automobile came come a halt, the Baudelaires could see the the shrubs had been trimmed so regarding look like snakes. Every hedge was a different kind that serpent, some long, some short, some v their tongues out and also some through their mouths open, showing green, fearsome teeth. Castle were quite eerie, and also Violet, Klaus, and also Sunny were a bit hesitant around walking alongside them top top their method up come the house. Mr. Poe, that led the way, didn"t it seems to be ~ to notification the hedges at all, possibly because he was busy coaching the kids on how to behave. "Now, Klaus, don"t questioning too plenty of questions best away. Violet, what happened to the ribbon in your hair? I thought you looked really distinguished in it. And also somebody you re welcome make certain Sunny doesn"t bite Dr. Montgomery. That wouldn"t be a good first impression." Mr. Poe stepped up to the door and rang a doorbell the was among the loudest the youngsters had ever before heard. ~ a moment"s pause, they might hear approaching footsteps, and Violet, Klaus, and also Sunny every looked in ~ one another. They had actually no way of knowing, that course, that an extremely soon there would be an ext misfortune within their unlucky family, yet they however felt uneasy. Would Dr. Montgomery it is in a kind person? castle wondered. Would he at the very least be much better than count Olaf? might he possibly be worse? The door creaked open up slowly, and also the Baudelaire orphans hosted their breath together they peered into the dark entryway. They experienced a dark burgundy carpet that lay on the floor. They saw a stained-glass irradiate fixture the dangled native the ceiling. They observed a huge oil paint of two snakes entwined with each other that held on the wall. But where was Dr. Montgomery? "Hello?" Mr. Poe referred to as out. "Hello?" "Hello hello hello!" a according to voice eight out, and also from behind the door stepped a short, chubby guy with a ring red face. "I am her Uncle Monty, and this is yes, really perfect timing! I simply finished make a coconut cream cake!" CHAPTER two "Doesn"t Sunny favor coconut?" Uncle Monty asked. He, Mr. Poe, and the Baudelaire orphans were every sitting roughly a bright environment-friendly table, each with a slice of Uncle Monty"s cake. Both the kitchen and the cake were still warmth from baking. The cake was a splendid thing, rich and also creamy with the perfect quantity of coconut. Violet, Klaus, and Uncle Monty were almost finished v their pieces, however Mr. Poe and Sunny had actually taken just one tiny bite each. "To tell friend the truth," Violet said, "Sunny doesn"t really choose anything soft come eat. She prefers very hard food." "How inexplicable for a baby," Uncle Monty said, "but no at all unusual for many snakes. The Barbary Chewer, because that example, is a snake the must have actually something in that mouth at every times, otherwise it begins to eat its own mouth. Very daunting to save in captivity. Would Sunny maybe like a raw carrot? That"s plenty hard." "A raw carrot would be perfect, Dr. Montgomery," Klaus replied. The children"s new legal guardian got up and also walked toward the refrigerator, yet then turned around and also wagged a finger at Klaus. "None of the "Dr. Montgomery" stuff," that said. "That"s method too stuffy for me. Speak to me Uncle Monty! Why, my other herpetologists don"t even call me Dr. Montgomery." "What space herpetologists?" Violet asked. "What do they contact you?" Klaus asked. "Children, children," Mr. Poe stated sternly. "Not so plenty of questions." Uncle Monty smiled at the orphans. "That"s fairly all right," that said. "Questions present an inquisitive mind. The word "inquisitive" means-" "We recognize what that means," Klaus said. ""Full that questions."" "Well, if you recognize what the means," Uncle Monty said, handing a huge carrot to Sunny, "then you should know what herpetology is." "It"s the examine of something," Klaus said. "Whenever a word has ology, it"s the examine of something." "Snakes!" Uncle Monty cried. "Snakes, snakes, snakes! That"s what ns study! i love snakes, all kinds, and I circle the globe looking for various kinds come study below in mine laboratory! Isn"t the interesting?" "That is interesting," Violet said, "very interesting. But isn"t it dangerous?" "Not if you know the facts," Uncle Monty said. "Mr. Poe, would certainly you favor a raw carrot together well? You"ve scarcely touched her cake." Mr. Poe turn red, and also coughed right into his handkerchief for fairly some time prior to replying, "No, say thanks to you, Dr. Montgomery." Uncle Monty winked at the children. "If friend like, you may speak to me Uncle Monty as well, Mr. Poe." "Thank you, Uncle Monty," Mr. Poe stated stiffly. "Now, / have actually a question, if girlfriend don"t mind. You stated that girlfriend circle the globe. Is there someone who will come and also take care of the children while you space out collecting specimens?" "We"re old sufficient to continue to be by ourselves," Violet stated quickly, however inside she was no so sure. Uncle Monty"s heat of work-related did sound interesting, however she wasn"t certain if she was all set to remain alone through her siblings, in a house complete of snakes. "I wouldn"t hear of it," Uncle Monty said. "You three need to come v me. In ten days us leave for Peru, and I desire you children right there in the jungle v me." "Really?" Klaus said. Behind his glasses, his eyes were shining v excitement. "You"d yes, really take us to Peru with you?" "I will be happy to have actually your help," Uncle Monty said, reaching over to take it a bite the Sunny"s piece of cake. "Gustav, my peak assistant, left an unexpected letter the resignation because that me simply yesterday. There"s a guy named Stephano whom I have actually hired to take it his place, yet he won"t arrive because that a week or so, so i am way behind on preparations because that the expedition. Somebody needs to make certain all the snake traps space working, so ns don"t hurt any kind of of our specimens. Somebody needs to read increase on the terrain of Peru so we deserve to navigate through the jungle without any trouble. And somebody has to slice an massive length the rope right into small, workable pieces." "I"m interested in mechanics," Violet said, licking her fork, "so I would certainly be happy to learn about snake traps." "I find guidebooks fascinating," Klaus said, wiping his mouth with a napkin, "so I would certainly love to read up on Peruvian terrain." "Eojip!" clear shrieked, taking a bite the carrot. She more than likely meant something follow me the currently of "I would certainly be thrilled to bite an enormous length that rope right into small, workable pieces!" "Wonderful!" Uncle Monty cried. "I"m happy you have actually such enthusiasm. It will certainly make it much easier to execute without Gustav. That was very strange, his leaving prefer that. Ns was unlucky to shed him." Uncle Monty"s face clouded over, a expression which here means "took top top a contempt gloomy look together Uncle Monty thought about his poor luck," return if Uncle Monty had known what negative luck was shortly to come, the wouldn"t have wasted a minute thinking around Gustav. I wish-and I"m certain you wish together well-that we could go ago in time and warn him, but we can"t, and that is that. Uncle Monty appeared to think that was that together well, as he shook his head and smiled, clearing his brain of troubling thoughts. "Well, we"d much better get started. No time prefer the present, I constantly say. Why don"t you show Mr. Poe come his car, and also then I"ll show you to the Reptile Room." The three Baudelaire children, who had actually been therefore anxious once they had walked v the snake-shaped hedges the an initial time, raced confidently through them currently as lock escorted Mr. Poe come his automobile. "Now, children," Mr. Poe said, coughing into his handkerchief, "I will be earlier here in around a week through your luggage and to do sure everything is every right. I recognize that Dr. Montgomery could seem a bit intimidating to you, yet I"m sure gradually you will acquire used to-" "He doesn"t it seems ~ intimidating at all," Klaus interrupted. "He seems really easy to acquire along with." "I can"t wait to view the Reptile Room," Violet claimed excitedly. "Meeka!" clear said, which probably meant "Good-bye, Mr. Poe. Thank you for driving us." "Well, good-bye," Mr. Poe said. "Remember, it is just a short drive here from the city, therefore please contact me or anyone else at Mulctuary Money monitoring if you have any kind of trouble. Check out you soon." He gave the orphans one awkward tiny wave v his handkerchief, acquired into his small car, and drove ago down the steep gravel driveway top top Lousy Lane. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny waved back, hoping that Mr. Poe would certainly remember to roll up the automobile windows for this reason the stench of horseradish would certainly not be as well unbearable. "Bambini!" Uncle Monty cried out from the former door. "Come along, bambini!" The Baudelaire orphans raced back through the hedges to where their new guardian was wait for them. "Violet, Uncle Monty," Violet said. "My name is Violet, mine brother"s is Klaus, and also Sunny is our infant sister. No one of united state is called Bambini." ""Bambini" is the Italian word for "children,"" Uncle Monty explained. "I had a sudden advice to speak a small Italian. I"m so excited to have you three right here with me, you"re lucky I"m no speaking gibberish." "Have you never had any type of children of her own?" Violet asked. "I"m afraid not," Uncle Monty said. "I always meant to uncover a wife and start a family, but it simply kept slipping my mind. Shall I display you the Reptile Room?" "Yes, please," Klaus said. Uncle Monty led them past the paint of line in the entryway right into a huge room with a cool staircase and very, very high ceilings. "Your rooms will certainly be increase there," Uncle Monty said, gesturing increase the stairs. "You can each select whatever room friend like and also move the furniture approximately to suit your taste. I understand that Mr. Poe has actually to lug your luggage later on in the puny car of his, for this reason please do a perform of anything you can need and also we"ll go into town tomorrow and buy it so friend don"t need to spend the next few days in the very same underwear." "Do we really each acquire our very own room?" Violet asked. "Of course," Uncle Monty said. "You don"t think I"d coop you all up in one room once I have actually this huge house, carry out you? What type of human would perform that?" "Count Olaf did," Klaus said. "Oh, that"s right, Mr. Poe told me," Uncle Monty said, grimacing as if he had just taste something terrible. "Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. Ns hope the is take it apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn"t that be satisfying? Oh, well, below we are: the Reptile Room." Uncle Monty had reached a an extremely tall wood door with a large doorknob ideal in the middle of it. It was so high up that he had actually to was standing on his tiptoes to open up it. As soon as it swung open on its creaky hinges, the Baudelaire orphans every gasped in astonishment and delight in ~ the room lock saw. The Reptile Room was made completely out of glass, through bright, clear glass walls and also a high glass ceiling that rose up to a point like the within of a cathedral. Outside the wall surfaces was a bright green field of grasses and shrubs which to be of food perfectly visible with the transparent walls, so standing in the Reptile Room was like being inside and outside in ~ the exact same time. But as impressive as the room chin was, what was within the Reptile Room was much much more exciting. Reptiles, that course, to be lined up in locked metal cages that satellite on wood tables in 4 neat rows all the way down the room. Over there were every sorts of snakes, naturally, but there were additionally lizards, toads, and also assorted other animals that the children had never ever seen before, not also in pictures, or in ~ the zoo. There was a very fat toad through two wings coming the end of that is back, and a two-headed lizard that had bright yellow stripes ~ above its belly. There to be a snake that had actually three mouths, one on optimal of the other, and another that seemed to have actually no mouth at all. There was a lizard the looked prefer an owl, with wide eyes the gazed at them from the log in on which it to be perched in that cage, and also a toad the looked as with a church, complete with stained-glass eyes. And there was a cage v a white cloth on optimal of it, so friend couldn"t watch what was inside at all. The youngsters walked down the aisles that cages, peering into each one in amazing silence.


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Few of the creatures looked friendly, and some of castle looked scary, but every one of them looked fascinating, and also the Baudelaires took a long, mindful look at every one, with Klaus holding clear up for this reason she could see.